a crisis of location

when i was in college i wrote an essay exploring whether the where affects the what. at the time i was in arkadelphia surrounded by blonde ponytails, pink polos, and seersucker pants. well, only one guy wore seersucker pants but that was enough. keep in mind i had just finished a second reading of walden and would have joined a "back to nature" commune in a heartbeat, so my perspective was perhaps a tad dramatic.

but im still asking the same question.

recently over coffee with other ouachita educated folks the topic turned to suburbia- and everyone agreed, it's sucking our souls. something about this place is so soothing and you become fearful that maybe one day you'll wake-up and realize you're fifty and half your life is already spent. the other fear, and perhaps the more rational one, is that you will grow to genuinely love suburbia. and my twentysomething mind is fearful of the person that loves suburbia.
i think my fear of suburbia is actually a fear that i will grow old and boring. old and eccentric is appealing- but im not sure if that happens in suburbia.

MLK, jr said that everyone has the potential for greatness. His definition differentiated between greatness and fame. greatness was rooted in service and this could be achieved by anyone.
i fear suburbia because i fear obscurity. im afraid that i wont reach my potential for greatness in a place with tract housing and manicured lawns. the doctor says that greatness can be achieved anywhere by anyone- anyone who's serving. all of this calls me back to the person i was created to be and away from my ego's longings.

i think a change of scenery might be good for me... not because of an irrational fear or my ego's pull...
but simply because even goldfish appreciate a new view every now and then.