we are reading romeo & juliet in 9th grade english. we are reading is because it is in the core, read: must be done or we will kill you, curriculum. some of these kids have no business reading shakespeare. but i am trying and some days they are trying and all that trying feels like its propelling us somewhere.

and then you have a moment of such complete idiocy that you remember why child labor laws havent always been in place.

we are reading in act II. juliet has sent her nurse to find romeo. they talk. make plans for a covert wedding. (where's the premarital counseling?) and as they are parting romeo tells her to find this guy to get a rope ladder to put in juliets window. the guys get it. romeo wants a wedding night. a few snicker but im okay with that. at least they get it.

then she raises her hand. i wish i could somehow relate her blank stare and the absolute sincerity in her voice. she says "umm... miss stine? is this that story where the girl ummm... lets down her hair, you know, from her window. and he climbs up?"

i had no words.

we're in act II. we've read EVERY WORD in class. we've listened to others act it out. we've discussed words with three or more syllables. we've re-written sections in modern english. we have ripped up the text and reconstructed it.

and three weeks into it she thinks we're reading rapunzel.

*update: she just walked into class. late. sat down and read the assignmen which looks like this:

1. Read Act III scene I

2. Answer the following questions....

She says "where do we find the answers?" "Did you read the board?" "yeah, miss stine." "act III" "oh i didnt see that before." "so you read # 2 before #1?" "yeah i guess so"

**second update: she just asked if "w" comes before "v." this is a surprise. normally when i make her look up a word she just sings the alphabet song.

gratias agimus vobis quod non fumatis.

today is christy jane stine's 50th birthday. i like her an awful lot. and in honor of today i have compiled a list of reasons why. (this list is in no way exhaustive or conclusive. im sure her husband, son, family and friends could add to it.)

1. she sings. all the freakin' time. she sings old hymns, songs from her youth (the monkees, anyone?), songs from everywhere. some of my favorite childhood memories include our long walks around Durham singing "Lord of the dance" or the peter, paul and mary songbook.

2. she makes stuff. cool stuff. for instance- diamonds. diamonds is a snake we made from my socks that had mysteriously lost their mate. mom made a mouth and i picked out tacky diamond buttons for the eyes. Diamonds is still around by the way. she also made cotillion dresses for her amazonian daughter.

3. she has never made me be anyone except lani. even when it would have been easier for both of us. when i was in elementary school i was damned and determined to wear a pinafore to school like the one alice wore in alice in wonderland. she let me. she also let me wear combat boots to vocal competitions-even after a oh, so helpful school teacher had suggested against it.

4. she read to me. every night. we read the chronicles of narnia. we read fairy tales. we read everything. but every night after zach was asleep we read.

5. she lets me cry. and she gives amazing hugs.

6. she gets excited about the little things. and is okay when you are also easily entertained.

7. she loves her 6th grade students and loves what she does for a living.

8. she loves my dad with a ferocity that frightens and wonders me all the same. her love for him is a high standard.

9. she is an amazing friend.

10. she has always prayed. before it was "cool" to pray. before there were books about being a "prayer warrior." she still keeps her journal beside her bed and prays for all of us.

11. she still has all of her joni mitchell records. she wants to grow her hair out again. and still feels bad about wasting water.

12. she threatened to run me over with her blue mini-van if she ever caught me smoking in high school. she would have. she still hits me whenever i casually confess the misdeeds of my mispent youth.

13. she's my mum. im her muppet. and thats all that really matter anyway.


for you mum...

Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I heard
Was a song outside my window, and the traffic wrote the words
It came a-reeling up like christmas bells, and rapping up like pipes and drums
Oh, won't you stay
We'll put on the day
And we'll wear it till the night comes
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I saw
Was the sun through yellow curtains, and a rainbow on the wall
Blue, red, green and gold to welcome you, crimson crystal beads to beckon
Oh, won't you stay
We'll put on the day
There's a sun show every second
Now the curtain opens on a portrait of today
And the streets are paved with passersby
And pigeons fly
And papers lie
Waiting to blow away
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too
And the sun poured in like butterscotch and stuck to all my senses
Oh, won't you stay
We'll put on the day
And we'll talk in present tenses
When the curtain closes and the rainbow runs away
I will bring you incense owls by night
By candlelight
By jewel-light
If only you will stay
Pretty baby, won't you
Wake up, it's a chelsea morning

things i enjoyed this weekend

the curly-headed roomie had never seen this cult classic. empire records was a fixture in my junior high life and beyond. even in college, when i would come home for a weekend, zach & i would always end up watching it. besides the music is the soundtrack of my 8th grade year. not to mention the fact that this was the inspiration for my junior high wardrobe. combat boots with skirts are always in style.

i heard her on prairie home companion a week ago. bought the cd this weekend. (on a side note: according to b&n if you record in nashville you are country. americana is not a concept they are familiar with.) she is amazing. she quotes quakers and reformers, promotes local agriculture and plays the banjo.

The Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus had some really good quotes. and that was about it. i like the principle point- that Christianity does not equal civilization. and that we have lost the passion and recklessness of the early church. but... i think im going to keep looking for seeliger's Western Theology.

"Love, & do what you please." -St. Augustine

i am reading through Brennan Manning's The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus which i believe was originally published as The Lion & the Lamb. im enjoying it. i always enjoy Manning. his message is simple. God loves me- just as i am. grace is free & mercy is plentiful. i appreciate Manning's message for its simple singular truth.

last night's chapter was entitled "Freedom Under the Word." it started with an analogy from Wes Seeliger's Western Theology that makes a comparions between setttler Christianity and pioneer Christianity. i havent read Seeliger's book but i think i might. pioneer Christianity sounds so good. following Christ through the wilderness of life, trusting God to take care of me, knowing the Spirit will feed me. but i know this is not what my life looks like. this is a challenge to live actively & passionately.

II Corinthians 3:17 "Now, the Lord is the Spirit, & the wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, he gives freedom."

manning makes the connection between a passionate Christian faith and bold Christian action. which begets the question- what is Christian action? i am convicted on this issue daily. i have chosen to believe that Christian action is showing up for church, reading my Bible, putting cash in the plate, a little prayer and seasonal service. i act as if God were safe, Christ was filled with leave it beaver wholesomeness and the Spirit does not exist. i am wrong. i think the majority of middleclass america is wrong.

i stole and read a book from my roomie, written by the president of her alma mater (Cedarville-its in ohio. she swears it exists). the book was called "Where have all the dreamers gone?" and although i think the author misses on a few points i wholeheartedly agree with his general message- Christians are not living active thoughtful Christian lives. he is a baby boomer and draws comparisons between his generation and mine. the dreams they had to change the world and the lackluster stagnacy of my own peers. even if you dont agree with the message of the '60s you cannot fail to recognize a sincerity, a passion for their cause, and a belief that they can change the world. as christians we should know that the world can be changed through personal belief on Christ and a life lived for him. however most Christians, myself included act as if this world is not something we have to should mess with. we act with little concern for its people or the resources God entrusted to us. i wonder if historians looking back will see an impact left on this century by the church or if the legacy will be left to secularism and humanism.

i have been newly challenged to live a life like manning and seeliger describe. i wonder if my generation will follow. you see this zeal spring up in small pockets. my brother attended the Passion '06 conferences and felt a movement in our generation, a call to action. i believe that it can happen. if we allow ourselves to be used for His purposes.

todays latin quote: " Cum tacent, clamant."- Cicero (By remaining silent, they cry out.)

A Change Is Gonna Come

I expected the year after college to be a shock to my system, a colonic of emotional duress. It wasn’t. It was a year to celebrate ridiculous firsts, like the first time I made cookies in an apartment where I basically paid all the bills myself. The first time I walked a bag of beer bottles out to the dumpster at the apartment I basically paid for. The first year after graduation was hopeful and stagnant. I was a grown up, who apparently wasn’t going anywhere.

My second year out of college, my second year out among the working, my second year living in the ant colony affectionately labeled the ‘burbs was the one that shook me. I had never realized the mediocrity was an option. Who had ever warned me that routine middleclass adulthood might be all I could every hope for.

the above was found written on a tiny scrape of paper tucked inside a book i finished monthes ago. one of those times of emotional clarity that i wanted to make sure I captured. im sure my intention was to dutifully copy it later into my journal. i have several journals. i think my current total is around 35 books, ranging from floral bedecked ribbon tied journals to the sleek black moleskines i currently favor. the earlist is from 3rd grade, i made the latest entry last night.

i like my journals. and they have served many purposes. from faithfully concealing a gradeschool crush on billy joel to documenting my top ten record list of 1994. greenday's dookie made the cut. lately they have served as sounding boards for careers moves, essays never developed, and poems never quite finished. they have become a place for quotes and sermons and really good recipes. they have become a place to think through my relationships. and they have become my primary format for talking to God.

i will confess that i am not good at prayer.

i have a hard time going beyond the awkward requests and thanks. the trick of talking to an empyt chair always seemed creepy. and praying aloud proved distracting. so i write them. i write Him letters. and this seems to work for me. its a way to organize my thoughts and direct them. its provides tangible documentation of answers and trials. and if my mind wanders in the middle to songs from The Band album The Band then i can always find my way back to where i was- on the page and in my mind.

clara voce cogito

im thinking out loud

20+C+M+B+06

i have an enthusiasm for the liturgical calendar that only someone who has spent a lifetime in warehouse churches can muster.

do not misunderstand me. i adore warehouse churches. my non-denominational, praise chorus singing, raising hands on high childhood was delightful. but i have a not so secret longing for the traditions of the high church.

i blame college.

something about the limited anti-catholicism of ouachita/the sbc made me reach for those mystical traditions. i started keeping lent. i acknowledged ash wednesday. and the more i read the more convinced i became that there is some good here.

the puritans and the anabaptists threw away all remnants of the catholic church because they assumed that anything associated with it was tainted. i think they might have made a mistake. i think that the liturgical calendar can provide times of community worship that don't have to compete with the distractions of mass marketing.

i didnt get any flyers promoting Epiphany sales.

Epiphany is the climax of the Christmas Season and the Twelve Days of Christmas, which are counted from December 25th until January 5th. The day before Epiphany is the twelfth day of Christmas, and is sometimes called Twelfth Night, an occasion for feasting in some cultures. In some cultures, the baking of a special King's Cake is part of the festivities of Epiphany

the curly headed roomie and i had krispie cream instead of king's cake.

epiphany is based on the visit of the wise men coming to worship Jesus and bringing gifts. the idea is that they revealed the true nature of Christ's identity to the world. they made known that He was worthy of worship. in the modern church it can be a time of meditating on the true nature of Christ as revealed in the Bible. it can also be a time to focus on missions- revealing Christ to the world. the season of Epiphany lasts until Ash Wednesday(March 1st).

So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh,Come peasant, king to own Him;The King of kings salvation brings,Let loving hearts enthrone Him.Raise, raise a song on high,The virgin sings her lullaby.Joy, joy for Christ is born,The Babe, the Son of Mary.

celebrate. read the story of the wise men. light a candle in honor of the season of light, where we recognize the Light that came to us. find a new missions to sponsor. or begin planning a trip of your own-whether its to a local soup kitchen or to africa.

Christus mansionem benedicat, may Christ bless this house

there ought to be a law...

going back to work on a federal holiday

im bitter about getting up early when the postman doesn't